Ten Reasons

FOMO (Fear of missing out)

This is one of the main reasons I, myself, continued to drink/use drugs for so long, despite knowing that it was detrimental to my life. I was afraid that every party, night out, sporting event, or concert I missed was me missing out on life. I was thoroughly convinced that there would be gossip and moments that would happen that I would never be able to experience if I wasn’t there using/drinking. My fears are common. Internalizing that fear of missing out can keep an individual paralyzed for years. I have heard countless stories of people who return to using because they just can’t get over their fear of missing out.

The "Why me?" Syndrome

It’s not unusual to have perpetual “why me” syndrome when considering getting into Recovery. I constantly wallowed in self-pity, asking myself why I was the one who couldn’t use/drink normally. Why did I have to be an addict/alcoholic? Why do I have to be the one who misses out on having fun and using/drinking with friends? Sometimes these thoughts can weigh an individual down on you so heavily that it causes them to use/drink again. Many people try to prove that they aren’t the odd one out and that they don’t have to be subjected to a life without drugs/alcohol. Recovery requires them to accept that life is the way it is and using drugs and drinking isn’t an option for them.

They have yet to experience enough pain

This is a big one. In active addiction, we experience intense levels of pain, and sometimes we don’t understand how much pain we’ve been in until we find Recovery and reflect back. I am often asked how I was able to just quit back on that day in March of 2005. My answer is always the same: the pain was too great. I had truly experienced my moment of clarity and knew that I could not go on living how I had been living. I was spiritually, emotionally, and physically broken down. The pain was so great that I finally had to change. If the pain is still manageable, the individual might not be ready for a life in Recovery.

The belief that one can drink in moderation

Obviously, if the individual believes they can drink/use moderately, being clean, sober, and in active Recovery isn’t in the cards for them at this moment. I’ve heard of many substance users who believe they can return to normal life, even after having some sobriety, and learn how to use in moderation. Rarely, this may work for some, but for me (and most former addicts), it’s like playing with fire. I don’t want to find out how it could turn out. The back and forth of attempting to drink/use normally, of regulating and policing yourself - these could all be reasons you can’t stay clean/sober and commit to Recovery.

Thinking about never using or drinking again scares the individual

Before I decided to quit using/drinking, being in Recovery (clean and sober) was a concept I could not identify with or relate to... I didn’t understand it or want it, and frankly, never using or drinking again terrified me. Forever is a long time. I think this idea keeps people from their own Recovery every day. We automatically put time constraints on ourselves when we should really just be thinking about today. One of the most well-known sayings in Recovery is, “One day at a time.” And it’s true, we only ever have today. When I stopped using/drinking, I honestly didn’t know how long it would last, but I just keep going for the next 24 hours.

They are physically addicted

This can be a serious issue. Physical addiction to alcohol and/or other drugs can keep someone sick for a long time because the vicious cycle of using will never end. This is particularly dangerous because Substance Use Disorder is chronic, progressive and when left untreated is a fatal disease. That’s why it’s so important to understand the debilitating effects drugs can have on the body. If using drugs is allowing the individual to get through everyday life on a physical level, something is wrong. They do not have to live that way. And they do not have to go it alone.

There is help when they are ready. And when they are not, we can still intervene.

The feeling of being unworthy

Addiction can break us down and tear our lives apart. I know when I was at my worst, I felt unworthy at my core. I felt unworthy of love, help, and Recovery. It’s not unusual to feel like you don’t deserve a life of sobriety. But it’s imperative to know that this is untrue and it’s the result of your brain being affected by your addiction. It took over a year for me to truly believe I was worthy of a better life and to really feel that Recovery was for me.

A lack of tools

When I was actively using and drinking, my toolbox consisted of one thing: drugs and alcohol. Whether I was happy, sad, angry, or celebrating, drugs and alcohol were my go-to coping mechanism. It helped numb any emotion I was feeling. In Recovery, I’ve had the opportunity to learn new, healthy coping skills that work. When we first try to be sober and clean, we don’t yet have these new skills, but we believe it is possible and that returning to use is our only option. But sobriety can offer you a way to deal with life on life’s terms, without drinking or using. It’s possible to stay clean and sober through anything.

Unrealistic expectations

It would be easy to believe that being sober, clean, and active in our Recovery will solve all of our problems, but when we’re lacking hope about life in general, it’s not unusual to set some unrealistic expectations of how life will go once we find our Recovery. If we do this, we can become disappointed when life doesn’t go our way. Staying in Recovery with this mindset is difficult. It’s important that we understand that life is still going to happen, and we’ll feel pain, anger, and sadness, but that we won’t have to use in the midst of these emotions.